Evaluating Your Marriage

Before you can begin to fix what's broken, you need to identify the problems in your relationship.  You need to know what is tearing you apart in order to be able to come together again.

This isn't always as easy as it seems. What you believe to be the missing ingredient in your relationship may be something very different to your partner. You need to look at the situation from your partner's perspective first, yours second.

What do you believe is responsible for the collapse in communication?  Why are you and your partner feeling disconnected?  What was the single breaking point that you can identify?

You need to focus on what role you played in your marriage problems, and how you can fix things so that you can show your partner that you are committed to restoring your relationship.

Think of the reasons that led up to this point, and remember not to single out any one problem or argument that you may have had.

When it comes to difficulties in marriages, it's usually a series of incidents or repeated problems that caused the final blow up to take place, and you need to identify what these issues were, so that you can make sure that once you've both worked to repair your marriage, that the same problems don't resurface.

While there may be multiple factors that influence your ability to rekindle your relationship, you need to be able to pinpoint where it all went wrong. Only then can you reverse the situation, and begin to repair your relationship.

If you believe that you're responsible for your relationship having broken down, you need to take steps to amend the problem. 

Have you neglected your spouse?

Has the daily grind taken control of the time you get to spend with your spouse?

Has raising children left you little time for intimacy? 

Has work been a leading factor in your being sidetracked?

Every relationship requires nurturing, especially if you've been together for quite some time. We all have a tendency to take for granted what we believe will never fade, and when we become comfortable with our partners, and we believe that they will always be there for us, it's far too easy to get caught up in the many distractions that ultimately, lead us away from the one we love the most.

So, begin by setting time aside for your partner.  It needs to be just the two of you, like it once was.  Plan out a date, so that you can recapture the feeling you had when you first started dating.  It's always possible to rekindle your romance, even if you've been together for many years. 

You know your spouse better than anyone, so think about what you can do to plan a special date where you can build new memories, and get to know each other all over again.

This isn't the time to address your problems. You simply want to have time together away from the chaos of daily life. 

This is a time for you to unwind, to simply be with your partner in a relaxing setting, so that you can both remember what it's like being together as well as reminiscing on the days where things were much less complicated.